Life As He Lives It
by guitargirl-3
Summary: It's about Zack mostly and how he feels about being 'the other twin'. It'll get better after the first couple of chapters, I promise. Rating might go up because of drinking and stuff. But who's drinking?.........
1. Unshared Dreams

**Hey everybody! I'm back and I have a new story idea. I know I haven't updated 'Second Chance II: Life Goes On', but don't worry I will, I just had writers block. lol So I'm going to go ahead and post this fanfic that I was writing while I was writing 'Second Chance'. So hope you like this one as well as 'Second Chance'. Read on!  
**

**Disclaimer- I don't own anything except the people I make up!**

**Life as he Lives It**

**Chapter One- 'Unshared Dreams'**

_(This is in Zack's point of view by the way. Like ALL of it. If something's in italics, then that's someone's thoughts, most likely Zack's.)_

_Bare with me here, the first couple of chapters is just Zack explaining some stuff. Don't worry it'll get better, but you have to read to know why Zack is acting like he is._

Do you ever feel like you're treated differently from other people? Whether you're the youngest of the family, oldest, middle child, new kid at school, girl, boy, short, too tall, too fat, geeky or whatever it may be? Well that's how I feel. I'm Zack and I'm treated differently from other people, especially my brother, Cody.

Cody and I are twins, but we're different. He's always looked at as the smart, caring, sensitive one and I have to be the athletic, talented, dumb one. Everyone expects me to be that. When I get a B on something everybody praises me, I don't like that. I like just getting a good grade and that's it. So I just get lower grades so everybody can just ignore it.

Doing sports is just something I do to get my mind off of everything else. It helps to get away from the hardest thing, life. It takes away some time at home.

Home, another thing. It's different now; it's an actual house, one with 2 stories at that. After two and a half years at the Tipton and mom finally got some money to buy an actual house, not a cheap apartment, a hotel room, Grandma's or the Tipton, a house, a home. But it feels more like a house than a home sometimes. Mom has a new boyfriend, Greg Booker. It's been about 2 months since they met and started dating and I'm tired of him already.

Another thing is my new room, it's all mine, Cody's next door. It's a huge change. I guess I'm just used to sharing a room with Cody. Even though I've had my own room for 3 months, I'm not used to not having Cody wake me up sometimes because of his bad dreams. I liked it when we talked at night, just us, even though Cody doesn't know it. I sleep all through the night most of the times now, I don't get those feelings that something's wrong anymore because those feelings came from Cody. And now he's in his room, away from me.

So basically, I get treated for who I'm supposed to be, not who I could and want to be, I want to be like Cody. I want people to expect me to get good grades, I want to be able to cry, to let everything out, to have friends that actually care about you more. I want to be more like Cody, my brother, my twin, my other half.

**There you go! I'll post the second chapter TODAY! lol R&R And again don't forget it'll get better. More surprises and more friends. ALL IN ZACK'S POV**

**R&R please and thank you. lol **


	2. Just Another Day

**So….I haven't got any reviews. Hopefully people will get into later. I'm sorry about the first couple of chapters, I'm just building up. It'll get better. If you liked my other one, Second Chance, then you'll probably like this. Which by the way I'm writing the next chapter for Second Chance, so look for it sometime! This one you're reading now is more in a book form than anything else. So that's why it explains a lot more than talks.**

**Chapter 2- 'Just another Day'**

"Zack! Cody!"

Great, another Monday. I hate Mondays, as does everybody, but for it was another beginning for me to pretend to be me. Every week I have to start all over, but Cody doesn't, he just goes where he left off from the day before.

I could hear Cody turn on the water in the bathroom to take a shower. Cody usually always takes a shower before me. I eat before I do anything else. Food's another thing that helps me get through stuff, but I still don't get any bigger. I'm 15, 5'5, about 155 pounds and have the same blonde hair that I've had forever, but shorter. Mom says it's better than the 'girl long' hair as she calls it. I do admit though, it was pretty long. "It hides your clear green eyes," mom always says.

"Zack!"

I guess that's my cue for breakfast. Getting out of bed is the hardest part of the mornings, besides going to school. I hate getting out of the warm, safe covers, but I do, putting my feet on the plush carpet and stretch. I look around my room. To someone who doesn't know me would defiantly know I was a 15 year old guy who likes music, sports and girls.

My bed's in the corner with no windows with a poster of a super model above it and a shelf of trophies on the wall beside it. There's a desk with a computer, thanks to Mr. Moseby, phone, some CDs and other junk on it under the window. There's a dresser with a stereo, again thanks to Mr. Moseby, on top of it and some clothes hanging out of some drawers, which is on the wall opposite my bed. A bookcase full of trophies, a few books, a clock, some sports' gear and some other stuff that was thrown there. I like my room, well at least the color; a dark mint green, black top curtain and off white plushy carpet. Everything else was pretty much the person people think I am.

I walk out of my room into the hallway, much more open than the old Tipton Suite. There's a railing going all the way from the end of my room to the beginning of the spare bedroom where there was a closed hallway after that with the bathroom. I walk passed Cody's room, his door's open. His room is more like I want my room to be like, personalized. Cody painted his own room, one wall red, which had his desk with his computer, phone and homework on it. There was a glass case of his medals from science fairs, history days and academic team above his desk. The other walls were white with a black strip going all the way around in the middle. I liked the way his bed was, right below the window where the sun seemed to always shine though. Cody has trophies for sports too, but not as many as me and they were mostly for track and swim team, some from basketball and football.

I keep going, passing the hallway closet and go down the stairs into the living room, through the dining room and into the kitchen.

"Hey bud."

Great, it was Greg Booker, mom's boyfriend of 2 months. Why does he have to be here, on a Monday? Especially when I'm in my sweat pants and an old T-shirt?

"Hi," was all I felt like saying to him. He's been at our house everyday after Cody and I got home from practice, cooking. Cody doesn't like Greg all that great either, there's just something about him that's not right. And I don't like it when he calls me 'bud'. It's like he can't tell the difference between me and Cody, which he can't.

I sat at my usual chair at the table as mom put the plate of food in front of me. It smelled so good, so I dug right in.

"I'm going to go to work. I'll see you later," Greg said to my mom. He kissed, on the lips, for like 2 minutes and left after messing up my hair. I hoped it was greasy so he would get that feeling of dirt and slime.

"Hey mom, hey Zack," Cody said opening the fridge.

"Hey, Greg made breakfast."

"Why?" Cody was thinking the exact same thing as me as he stood holding a glass of orange juice in his hand. I looked up at Cody, we _were _twins. I never realized how much we looked alike until now. We had almost the same hair; Cody's was longer, same height, same eyes and same weight/build, except I was a little bigger because of muscle. But we were still different.

I ate breakfast with mom and Cody, took a shower, put on some jeans, a T-shirt, my Etnies skateboarding shoes and my Boston Bears Basketball hoody with my #3 on the back.

"Dude, you walkin'?" Cody asked.

"Are you?"

"Yeah, with Bailey."

Bailey was another thing Cody had that I wanted, not Bailey exactly, but a girlfriend. I've had some girlfriends over the years, but not one that actually liked the me I want to be. It's not that Cody's a total dork, he's just smarter than the average 15 year old. Bailey likes that about Cody and that he does sports.

"I might ride the bus." I'll just take the bus, maybe I'll find the right girl there……right.

"Okay bro. See you at school." Cody slipped the coat on he was holding, heading out of my room, almost running into Payden, my best friend.

"Hey, Cody."

"Hey, Payden. Don't forget about practice."

"I won't. Later."

Payden's probably one of my best friends, besides Tapeworm, but Tapeworm goes to a different high school now. We play basketball and football together and we're both in track.

"You ready?" Payden asked.

"Yeah."

I could hear the front gate open and close outside as the wind blew. Payden followed me through the living room and out the front door. Our front yard wasn't really big, since we lived in Boston, but at least we had a yard. A back yard too. We had a house on each side and some across the street. We were about 10 miles away from the Tipton, but it wasn't long to walk if you really needed to get there just to get away.

I opened the same old gate onto the sidewalk.

"Still not use to the new stuff?" Payden asked me as we walked down the sidewalk.

"Sorta. It's just hard to believe we-," I cut myself off. I never liked talking about how we used to live; cheap hotels, crappy apartments, grandma's cramped house, our car. Cody only talked about it and only to me.

"Hard to believe what?"

I didn't tell Payden, or any of my friend, neither did Cody. Mom I don't think even told anyone. It's just something you don't want to talk about. "Nothing, let's catch the bus."

"Okay."

**There's chapter 2! Next chapter will have a surprise! Please Review. It'll get better, just stay with me here.**


	3. Great, Just Great

**Well thanks for the people that reviewed! Here's the next chapter….**

**Chapter 3 –'Great, Just Great'**

Cody and I walked on the sidewalk going home. Basketball practice was hell. We had to run 2 laps around the gym every time someone missed a lay up or a free throw. I didn't know how many people get desperate trying to make a simple shot.

"Great, Greg's here," Cody said opening the gate.

Greg's car was in the driveway behind mom's car. Just what I needed after a hard basketball practice.

"Hey, Zack! Hey, Cody!" Ridge, our next door neighbor, my friend and a basketball player yelled from his driveway. He was shooting free throws, apparently he doesn't want to run anymore either.

I followed Cody through the front door and into the kitchen. Mom and Greg were cleaning and putting away dishes. I put my stuff on the counter, Cody did the same. I didn't really care if Greg was there, I was dying of thirst.

"Oh boys, you're home," mom said still putting dishes away.

"Yeah, but I'm gonna die if I don't get a drink now," Cody said grabbing the same kind of Gatorade as me.

I could tell mom was really happy, because she had that smile she always has on birthdays, holidays or when Cody gets an A in every class for a whole year.

"Well I'm gonna die if I don't tell you some great news," mom said.

Greg took mom's hand smiling. "You tell them."

I looked at Cody; he looked back at me just as confused.

"Zack, Cody," mom said almost bursting, "Greg and I are engaged!"

Everything was silent; all you could hear was the wind blowing the wind chimes out back. I was speechless and not the kind of speechless when something's so amazing it's hard to believe, but the kind of speechless when there's nothing to say that's good.

"Boys, did you hear me?" mom asked smiling even more.

"Yeah, uh, that- that's-," Cody said trying to find the right words, but I cut him off.

"What! You- you just met this guy!"

"Zack, please," mom said.

I didn't know what to do. I couldn't go to my room because they would just follow me, I couldn't go talk to Maddie and I couldn't hide out like I could at the Tipton. The first thing that came to me, the second closest person to me, was my dad. I put my Gatorade bottle down hard on the table and left, slamming the door. I heard my mom yell my name, but I couldn't stop. I just kept going; out the door, through the gate and all the way to dad's house, 20 minutes away.

"Zack, what are you doing here? It's only Monday," my dad said when I walked into his kitchen.

Cody and I usually go to dad's Friday through Saturday night.

"Dad, I have a problem."

"Dad!" It was dad's wife's oldest kid, Logan. Logan had what I thought looked like a math book. "Dad, I need help with my stupid math."

"Logan, go ask mom," dad said.

"But dad!"

"Dad, I really need to talk to you."

"Daddy, Jordyn at my crayons!" Amie's oldest daughter, Kambrian, said.

I could see Kambrian holding her half eaten crayons, then Jordyn, being only three, waddled in holding the other half of the crayons in her hand with slobber all over them.

"Dad, math help!"

"I need my crayons!"

"I like ca-ons!"

"Dad, I need to talk to you."

"Stop, Jordyn!"

"Kambrian, give me some crayons, I can't do math with pencil, maybe color will help."

"No, stop!"

"Kids!"

Logan, Kambrian, Jordyn and I were all quiet at the sound of dad's voice.

"Okay, not everybody just wait a second. I can only help one person at a time."

"Hey, what's all the commotion in here?" Amie asked coming into the kitchen. "Hey Zack. Wait, is it Friday?"

"No, I need to talk to my dad."

"But I need help with my math."

"I need new crayons."

"I like blue."

"Okay, wait," Amie said holding up her hands. "Logan needs help with math, so I'll help him. Kambrian needs new crayons and Jordyn likes blue? Jordyn, did you eat Kambrian's crayons again?"

I watched my dad's family, even though it was total chaos sometimes, I wanted this kind of family all of the time. Dad married Amie about 2 years ago, moved into the house they're living in right now a month later, then dad adopted Amie's kids a year later gaining full custody. They were the perfect family. I love staying here on weekends, I wish I could for a whole week, not that I don't love my mom, but sometimes dad can help me more at certain stuff.

"So Zack, have a seat," dad said slapping the chair next to him.

It was just us in the kitchen now. I sat down.

"What's up?"

"You know that guy mom's been dating?"

"Greg?"

"Yeah well, they're not dating anymore."

"Well then that's a good thing, didn't you and Cody say you didn't really like him?"

"They're engaged."

"Oh."

I could tell dad was uncomfortable; he didn't really like Greg either. We sat for awhile in silence. I was hoping dad would say something to make things a little better like he always did, but he seemed just as shocked as I was.

"Do you need to stay here tonight?" Dad said breaking the silence.

"I should call Cody."

I was about to get out my cell phone when Cody walked in with mom.

"Zack, why did-," mom started to say.

Cody cut her off, "Mom, can Zack and I talk alone?"

"But I need to-"

"Carey, let the boys talk," dad interrupted.

Mom looked at Dad, then me, then Cody. "Alright."

**Okay, there you go! There was the surprise. Sorry they're short chapters. The next chapter reveals more too. It's only about Zack and Cody in the next chapter, just them two talking. Like I said before, it's more of a book, so it'll be explaining more than anything. lol Thanks for reading! R&R**


	4. Spill

**Reviews, thank you! Here's the next chapter. It's all Zack and Cody, and some brotherly love. Lol Hope you like!**

**Chapter 4 – 'Spill'**

Cody sat in front of me on his bed at dad's. We shared a room at dad's, another reason I like dad's house. The room was the biggest room upstairs. Kambrian and Jordyn shared a room, Logan got his own room, then Cody and I shared a room since we weren't there all the time.

"Do you think this is like last time?" Cody asked.

"I don't know." I knew what Cody was talking about; John, the guy who asked mom to marry him. That happened when Cody and I were seven, then again when we were ten. John left mom after the honeymoon, then came back two years later, dated mom for a year, asked her to marry here, she said yes, then he left after seven months.

"Zack, I don't want mom to get hurt again…. I don't want to get hurt again."

I looked up at Cody, the dim light shadowed his face. I didn't need to see his looks, I knew what he felt, because I felt the same way. I never told how I felt about mom's marriages or divorces, the way it was when dad was still around, the way we used to live, or about anything. I have to be strong for Cody, I have to comfort Cody, I have to keep a hold of myself for Cody. It's always been that way. Everything I do, I do for Cody.

I had to look away from Cody. I knew he was about to cry. I hate it when Cody cries, it makes me feel like I failed at comforting him and up until now, I could hold in my feelings, my anger, until I was alone. Mom being engaged to Greg just topped it all off.

I couldn't do it anymore, so I said the first thing that I wanted at the moment. "Go home." I didn't look at Cody, I couldn't.

"What?"

"Just go home, Cody."

"I don't want to be alone."

"But I do! Go home, Cody! Go cry somewhere else!"

I could not believe how that came out of my mouth. I realized how harsh I sounded after I had said it. I didn't mean it, I was just mad. I looked at Cody sorry. "Cody, I didn't mean it."

Cody pinched his lips together trying not to cry, he looked so alone, so broken that I said that.

"Cody, I'm sorry."

Cody didn't listen, he just got up and left, not looking back and not letting himself cry.

"Cody!" I couldn't move, all I could do was sit there glued to the bed. I was mad at myself for letting Cody down. I failed as being the brother I'm supposed to be to Cody.

I looked around Cody and I's room; I was alone. Was this how Cody felt? I couldn't let Cody feel like this every time things go wrong. I got myself to move. I rushed out of the room hoping Cody didn't go too far; he didn't. I almost tripped over Cody in the hall.

"Cody?" I stared at Cody; he was sitting on the floor holding his knees to his chest with his head on his knees. "Cody?" I sat beside Cody trying to see his face. "Cody, I'm sorry. I was just mad, but not at you."

Cody lifted his head up. I was shocked at his appearance, his face was pale and his eyes were blood shot. "I want to go home," Cody said so quiet I could barely hear him.

"We will, let's go."

"That's not home."

"What?"

"Nothing's home. Home is a place that makes you feel comforted, safe, loved. We had that at the Tipton. That was a real home, even if it was a hotel."

I listened as Cody talked slowly, never taking his eyes off of the white wall in front of him. All of what he said was true. When mom and dad were married we lived in a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom house, it was perfect for us, if there wasn't all the fighting and yelling. Even then I had to be strong for Cody.

"We can make it home, Cody, just you and me. I'll talk to mom about her and Greg's engagement. It'll be fine, I promise."

I wasn't sure if Cody heard me, he was still staring at the wall. I waited for what seemed forever until I heard Cody say quietly, "Okay."

I needed to make the promise official, to tell Cody I was still there for him, still his shoulder to lean on. I moved in front of Cody, making him look at me. "Cody, am I your brother?"

Cody nodded yes not looking at me.

"Cody, Cody look at me. Am I your brother?"

Cody looked at me, "Yeah."

"Exactly and you're my brother, my twin, my other half. And you can trust me on this. That's what I'm here for. I love you, Cody."

Cody looked at me as if trying to take in what I said, then nodded. I hugged Cody. I was glad he hugged back because that meant he got what I said and now relied on it.

"I love you too, Zack."

**There's another chapter. Hope you liked it! R&R More when I write more!**


	5. What a Friend Knows

**Okay. Just another chapter. I forgot the disclaimers on the others, so I'll put them on this time. lol For those of you who do read this and review, thanks! And those of you who read and maybe don't review, thanks for at least reading! On with the story……**

**Chapter 5- 'What a Friend Knows'**

It was Thursday, two days after mom and Greg got engaged. Cody and I had stayed at Dad's those days and planned on staying the rest of the weekend. Dad's house was more comforting and relaxed. Though I still didn't feel comforted or relaxed, I used it all to help Cody.

We had to pass mom's house Wednesday to go to Ridge's house. There was a moving truck in the driveway with Greg's stuff in it. I looked away trying to forget about Greg and the engagement. School was tougher too. I couldn't concentrate on anything, not even basketball. The kids who were jerks seemed to get on my nerves more. That really got me to go over the edge.

It was lunch on Thursday at school. I was sitting with the basketball team. Cody wasn't there yet. I heard the future drop out jerks talking about how stupid Mr. Woods was; our math teacher.

"Woods is so stupid. He fucking gave me a D in his class," the 'head' jerk, Montanna said.

"That's because you didn't suck up to him like that gay Cody Marting kid," another one said.

"That's true. That little fucker is gay. He probably goes to Mr. Woods' house every night to 'study'," Montanna said air quoting study.

Anybody could figure out what he meant my saying that. I though I could let it go, but then Montanna said something about Cody's girlfriend being a guy and some other stuff to that.

I turned around in my chair, "Do you have a problem, Montanna?"

Montanna stopped laughing with his friends and looked at me. "Look guys, it's the gay little shit's brother."

Apparently this was funny to them. To me on the other hand only me angrier. The basketball team was listening to us now. "Shut-up, Montanna. Cody's not gay," I was pissed.

"Don't lie; I know what you two do together."

I stood up quick making my chair screech on the tile floor. I thought of something I knew that would make Montanna mad. "No, more like what me and your mom do together."

Montanna stood up, "What'd you say, Martin?"

"You heard me, Copsey."

We were in each others faces when a teacher came up to us. "Is there a problem here, boys?"

I stared at Montanna for awhile before sitting down in my chair. Montanna said something to butter up the teacher, then left. Everybody at my table looked at me.

"What?" I asked annoyed by the stares. Some people kept staring and some went back to eating.

I didn't care what anybody thought at the moment, I was just sick of being me. I wanted to go away from everybody, so I left the lunch room, leaving my tray on the table and headed outside.

I threw open the doors and turned a corner towards the football field and track. A million things were going through my head at once. I felt like this before, a lot of times. Mainly to make sure Cody didn't feel like this. I held everything in and let Cody spill his guyts over his problems.

"Zack!" I heard someone yell behind me. It was Megan, my other best friend. "Zack, wait up!"

I kept going along the brick wall wanting Megan to go away. Sure, she was my best friend, but I didn't want to talk to anybody. I didn't even want to be with myself.

"Zack," Megan said catching up with me, "where are you going?" I didn't answer her, hoping she's go away. "Zack, come on, it's me, Megan, your best friend….. Hey, talk to me. What's been going on? Since Monday you've been acting different…..Zack!"

What Megan did was unexpected. She got in front of me, grabbed my shoulders and pushed me up against the brick wall. I was so surprised I didn't try to get away from her grip. "Zack, what's your problem?"

Megan looked into my eyes, her piercing blue eyes staring me down. I stared right back, trying to tell her I didn't want to talk. Her hands loosened on my shoulders.

"Okay, fine," Megan said stepping back and brushing the hair away from her face that was blowing in the wind. "Don't tell me." Megan put her hands in her back pockets.

I knew Megan wanted to know why I was acting different and I wanted to tell her. The only thing that stopped me was….me. So I just stayed leaning against the brick wall, holding everything in.

"Please, Zack, talk to me," Megan said. "You can tell me anything."

I looked into Megan's eyes; they were searching mine for an answer. An answer that wouldn't come easily. I opened my mouth to talk, but stopped myself. "I don't want to talk about it."

I started to leave, to get away, but Megan grabbed my shoulders and pushed me up against the brick wall again. "No, you're not going until you tell me. You always make me talk. Now spill."

"Will you let go of me first?"

"Nope."

I sighed, I knew she wouldn't let me go until I told her. I made it short, "My mom's engaged to Greg."

"That one guy who always cooks?"

"Yeah."

"Oh, he's, he's…..different. There's something about him that bugs me."

I nodded. I guess I wasn't the only one who thought that besides Cody and Dad. I was hoping she'd let me go, but she didn't. Megan looked at me.

"That's not all, there's more."

How she knows these things, I don't know. "There's not, that's it. Can I go now?"

"Fine," Megan let go and stepped back, "but I'll figure out what else is bugging you."

"Good luck with that, there's nothing else." I walked back towards the school entrance, then turned around. "But if there was, no one would know….it's not always on the outside."

**There you go! I'm still writing the next chapter. So the update might not be as quick. Thanks for reading! R&R**


	6. Jealous? Or Pain?

**Once again I'm sorry for not updating sooner! lol So here's chapter 6. I have chapters 7 and part of 8 written, so maybe I'll post chapter 7 and some of 8 today sometime. Hope you like it!**

**Disclaimer- I don't own The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. I just own the plot and the people I make up.**

**Chapter 6- "Jealous? Or Pain?"**

"Come on guys," Cody said getting the tickets.

It was Friday. Cody asked me if I wanted to go with him and Bailey to the movies. I didn't really want to, but I did. I brought Megan because I didn't want an actual date, just a friend.

Megan and I walked behind Cody and Bailey who were holding hands. Bailey was lucky to have Cody and Cody really likes her….a lot. I'm glad Cody has a girlfriend, it makes him happy and it's one person that can do things I cant to help Cody. For example, kissing.

"What do you want?" I asked Megan as we stood in line for food and drinks.

"Just a small sprite."

"Okay, we'll share a popcorn."

"Cool with me."

I got a small sprite for Megan, a medium Dr. Pepper for me and a large popcorn for both of us. I looked around, there was a lot of kids around my age or older with a group of friends or a date. I looked to where they sell the tickets, what I saw I wasn't ready for. My mom, _my _mom with Greg and his kid, Hayden. They looked like a regular everyday family, but I didn't see them like that. The way Hayden acted around Greg looked like a good father-daughter relationship, but something bugged me.

"Zack, come on," Megan said holding out my drink and popcorn.

I turned back around and took the stuff, "Yeah, let's go." The four of us went to theater 4 for our movie. Nobody noticed my mom, Hayden or Greg, but I did and that something still bugged me until the movie started.

The movie was definitely scary, but more jumpy than anything. It was a good movie. Megan grabbed my arm every time something made her jump and by the end of the movie she was practically in my seat. I'm so used to this by now, Megan gets scared easily.

Through the whole movie Cody and Bailey were holding hands when I looked. It kind of made me jealous….of Cody. I even left in the middle of the movie to go to the bathroom.

As I was in the bathroom I leaned on the sink. The room was empty and dim. I had to splash some water on my face to get myself to stop thinking about Cody and Bailey. But the feeling wouldn't go away. That feeling, it was in the pit of my stomach and you just can't explain it or why you feel it. It's just there.

I looked at myself in the mirror. Who am I? I didn't know who I wanted to be, or who I was supposed to be at that moment. What was I here for? That's what I asked myself, but soon found the answer.

I heard footsteps coming from the small hallway leading to the bathroom. A man walked in, I wasn't alone anymore, but I still felt alone. The man stopped when I looked up, his face with an odd expression. It didn't take me long to figure out who he was; he has a face I can never forget. It's like his face is engraved in my mind, but I only see it when I'm mad.

"Zack?" the man asked.

I squinted my eyes a little, the anger filling my memory. "John," I said as calm as I could.

"I knew it was you," John said with a smile. "How's it been?"

I stood my ground as he got closer. John Oaken was the reason my mom had a hard time dating guys when Cody and I were younger. He's the one who left my mom, twice. I knew why I was here, to protect Cody from people like John or anybody else.

"Oh I see, you're not going to talk to me," John said standing in front of me. "It's been, what, four years?"

"Don't talk to me," I said. I left the bathroom, hearing John's words, "Tell your mom I said hello."

I turned the corner in the hall. How could he say that after what he did to her? I turned the other corner to leave. I stopped; people were leaving their movie theaters, not all, just about 2 or 3. I looked around; Cody was against the wall with Bailey in front of him facing the same way. Cody has his arms around Bailey's waist, holding her hands. They were laughing. I got that gut feeling again. My stomach did a flip when Cody kissed Bailey.

"Zack, there you are." Megan stood in front of me, blocking my view of Cody and Bailey.

"We have to leave."

"We were going to your dad's."

"You're not going home?"

"Cody said we can help you guys babysit Logan, Kammi and Jordyn."

I forgot about babysitting, but I was a good chance to get my mind off things. "Okay, let's go now."

"But we're-"

"Megan, now."

"What's with you now?"

"I'll explain later. Cody!"

Cody looked up and I waved for him to come over. I walked to him and met him in the middle of the big hall. "What?" Cody asked.

"We _have _to go _now_."

Cody looked at me funny. "Zack, what's wrong?"

Before I could actually say anything John came out of the bathroom. I looked at John who was coming our way, then back at Cody. Cody's expression was one I tried to keep away; fear, anger, sadness. I grabbed Cody's arm and went to leave. Megan and Bailey followed.

"Cody," John said coldly as we passed him.

Cody tried to stop, but I wouldn't let him. I couldn't let him, I did that once and I regret it, a lot. Cody doesn't need to know what John did to me. I saved Cody so he wouldn't go through go through John like I did. I couldn't let Cody fall to pieces. I couldn't let myself fall into pieces….again.

**There you go! Hope you liked it! R&R**


	7. Are you Leaving?

**Here's next chapter. **

**Disclaimer- I don't own the suite life or any of the characters. I do own the plot and characters I make up.**

**Chapter 7- "Are you Leaving?"  
**

"Zack, get up," Logan said. "Saturday morning cartoons are starting."

I opened my eyes. It was Saturday morning, an early Saturday morning. I sat up and looked around; Logan was in his pajamas standing by my bed. Cody was asleep in his bed next to mine.

"Come on, Zack," Logan said with no patience.

"Okay, okay. Aren't you a little old to be watching cartoons?"

"Uh, no, I'm only ten and you watch them and you're 15."

"True. I'll meet you downstairs."

"Okay, get Cody too."

"Okay."

Logan left the room. Cody turned on his side, facing me. I looked at him; he was at peace with everything when he sleeps, most of the time. I got out of my bed and sat on the edge of Cody's. "Cody, get up."

I shook Cody a little, bad idea. "Get away from me!" Cody yelled swinging his arms hitting me.

"Cody!"

"No! Go away! Don't hurt me!"

"Cody, wake up!" I grabbed Cody's arms forcing him to stop swinging them. "Cody, it's Zack." Cody shot open his eyes that were filled with fear. They quickly changed to tears waiting to fall. Cody sat up and hugged me. I put my arms around him confused, but I knew it was just another dream.

"Cody, calm down, it was just a dream," I said rubbing his back. I've done this so many time before, I know how to calm Cody down now. "Forget it, it's gone, you're with me, sagfe."

Cody let go of the embrace and looked at me. "John."

"John's gone, completely gone, Cody. He was just at the movies."

"Not to you."

I stared at Cody, a feeling burning inside of me. I wasn't sure if I knew what Cody was thinking, but I knew what I was thinking. I tightened my fist trying to push away the painful thought. "Come on, cartoons are starting." I got off the bed and walked to the door, Cody didn't follow. "Come on, we're missing out."

"You don't have to be tough all the time, Zack," Cody said.

"What are you talking about?"

"You always have to act strong, and mostly for me."

"Cody, drop it, let's go downstairs."

"You're doing it again. You don't have to do it all the time."

"Cody please, not now."

"Fine, but sooner or later, you're going to be the person you want to be."

"Whatever, come on." I left the room and went downstairs. Why does Cody have to be so smart?

"Dack!" Jordyn yelled as I came down the stairs.

I smiled as I was Jordyn running towards me. She jumped in my arms and gave me a big hug. I'd have to say, Jordyn in one of the cutest and happiest three year olds I've ever seen. She can light up a room with her brown curly hair, big blue eyes and a halfway toothless grin. Even the way she spoke was cute. Jordyn can't say z's or r's, so my name has been 'Dack' since she could talk.

"Awe you leaving?" Jordyn asked as we were walking to the living room.

"Am I leaving? I don't think so, why?"

"Because Cawey (Carey) was hewe (Here)."

"Really, when?"

"Now."

I stopped in the living room doorway holding Jordyn. Mom, Greg, dad, Logan, Kambrian and Amie were all in there. I knew by their looks that I was going back to mom's on Monday, no questions.

"Hey, Zack, where's Cody?" Dad asked, Kambrian sitting on his lap watching cartoons with Logan.

"He's-"

"Right here," Cody said stepping up beside me. "What's going on?"

"Your mom wants you guys to come home," Greg said.

"We are home," I said.

"Zack," mom said with a 'don't push it' voice.

"What? It's the weekend, we're supposed to be here."

"You've been here all week. You need to come home."

"Dad, help me out here."

Dad looked at me, he knew I didn't want to go, but he just had to do the right thing. "Zack, you cane come back next weekend. It's fine. Besides, your mom could use some help moving some stuff in."

"But dad-"

"Don't- push it."

I put Jordyn down and went back upstairs to my room. I did not want to go back to mom's house, not until Greg was gone. But I couldn't let Cody go by himself. I don't trust Greg. I don't trust any guy anymore.

**There's chapter 7! Hope you liked it! R&R**

**And here's a little taste of chapter 8- 'You Know Me'**

"Cody didn't do it!" I yelled not knowing.

"Zack, don't yell," John said grabbing my arm.

"Cody didn't do it," I said quieter.

"That's better. Now, do you need a lesson?"

"No, let go of me!"

John yanked me around the corner of the alley and pushed me up against the brick wall. "Cody, get over here!" John yelled angrily.

"Please, don't," I said as I saw Cody stand behind John like he always used to do.

**There's a little taste of chapter 8. Hopefully I'll finish it today and post it today. Thanks for reading! R&R**


	8. You Know Me

**Hey! Here's the next chapter. There's not a lot of reviews and I was just wondering if nobody is actually reading my fanfic or if nobody is reviewing. So what is it? If you don't like it do tell and if you do like it do tell and review. I really appreciate reviews! Thanks!**

**Chapter 8- 'You Know Me'**

After we both took showers and ate breakfast Cody and I left dad's and started walking to mom's. the walk was quiet and long, but neither of us wanted to take the bus. If we walked it would take longer to get there, exactly what I wanted.

We were almost home, all we had to do was go through the alley, which is shorter.

"Uh, Zack, how about we take the alley," Cody said. It was the first time one of us said anything in the whole walk.

"Or let's not. The alley will get us there quicker."

"Zack, trust me, we should take the alley."

Cody stopped me in front of the alley. "Cody, why do you-."

"Hey, Cody….Zack."

I turned around already a little annoyed at Cody, so having someone say my name like that was not what I wanted. "What do you want?"

"Excuse me?"

I swallowed hard. Standing right in front of me was John. I wanted to run back through the alley and go home, but I was stuck to the sidewalk. "I-I- I didn't know it was you."

"Do I have to teach you a lesson again?"

It was like I was nine again. I was like an ant standing under a shoe knowing he's going to get squashed. 'A lesson' was something I never wanted, but always got when I was bad. I even took a lesson for Cody. The only lesson I regret was the one I made Cody get. Cody didn't do it, it was me. Cody didn't do it!

"Cody didn't do it!" I yelled not knowing.

"Zack, don't yell," John said grabbing my arm.

"Cody didn't do it," I said quieter.

"That's better. Now, do you need a lesson?"

"No, let go of me!"

John yanked me around the corner of the alley and pushed me up against the brick wall. "Cody, get over here!" John yelled angrily.

"Please, don't," I said as I saw Cody stand behind John like he always used to have to do.

"Shut-up, Zack. You need to know something about your mom."

"No! Let go!" I got away from John's grip and ran home. I didn't look back to see if Cody was following. I was too caught up in old memories, too scared to look back. For once I wasn't scared for Cody, I was scared for me.

I finally stopped at the gate of the front yard. I opened the gate halfway, then looked back to make sure John wasn't near; he wasn't. Nobody was in sight, not even Cody.

"Cody?" I asked quietly. I looked around, no Cody. Why did I leave him by himself? Why did I run? Why did I not look back? Why?

I ran in the house and upstairs to my room. The sun was barely shining through the curtains, making the room dim. I sat on my bed and put my head in my hands. I wanted to cry, but I couldn't let myself be nine again.

I heard the door open, but I didn't look up, I couldn't. "Zack?" It was Cody. "Zack, are you okay?"

I heard the fear in his voice. I had to make I go away. "I'm fine," I said into my hands.

"Why did you-," Cody started to say.

I looked up at Cody; it was like we were nine again. all I saw was a small, frail nine year old Cody with tears building in his eyes. A small, but piercing voice rung in my ears, "Why did you run? Why did you leave me, Zack? Zack….you left me."

I hated to hear those words. I couldn't take it, not anymore. "Cody, come here," I said standing up. Cody did what he always did when I said that, he came to me and we hugged. "I'm sorry, Cody. I really am."

I felt Cody's quiet sobs against my shoulder. I couldn't say anything, afraid the tears would fall.

"Don't leave again, Zack," Cody said into my shoulder.

I pinched my eyes shut as the tears that had been bottled up for six years came out uncontrollably. I whispered back to Cody, "I won't."

"You promise?" Cody whispered.

"I promise."

I don't know how long we stood there in the middle of my room hugging, but I didn't really care. I was starting to become the person I wanted to be. I cried in front of Cody, I _cried._

Some how, some time, I ended up on the floor of my room and Cody was in my bed. I looked up at my bed; Cody's face was facing my way, just close enough to the edge so I could see it. I had a feeling he was going to wake up from a bad dream, but I was ready for that. I was ready to support my promise to Cody.

_I wasn't going to leave Cody alone in the dark ever again. I promised._

**Okay, there you go. Chapter 8 finally. Hope you liked it. I'll try to update my other fanfic, Second Chance part II sometime, but I haven't written anything for awhile. I don't know when I'm going to write chapter 9 for this story. So bare with me here! lol R&R**


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